This year of 2018, has been a challenging one for many of us, in a variety of ways. Health, work, relationships and more…
We have had a set of planetary alignments with 6 or 7 all in retrograde for what feels like weeks. Now, I’m no astrologer, but the effect of this has been, to make us look at our lives, how we live it, but more than that, to look at ourselves fully, I feel – I could be completely wrong here – but it’s smacked me upside the head more than once this year!
I’ve had a couple of real wobbles. A crash in confidence, which resulted in an unbearable pain in my butt, and was brought about by a healing session I seriously needed. This healing session was all about my fundamental beliefs in me, my capabilities, (or lack of) my inner insecurities and more. I couldn’t walk for the best part of a week. I spoke to my healer coach friend who helped create this god awful pain.
Her response? ‘Why do you still want to hang on and own it?’ It’s holding you back, stopping you moving forward, literally’.
Wham, I got it. 24 hrs later it had cleared. This all took place at the beginning of the summer.
Zip forward to early autumn, another wobble; this time about losing my MoJo. No inspiration, nothing to say which I felt would be of value. So not feeling the love for my work. But why, why this, why now? This work, my spiritual existence is all I do, it’s why I get up in the morning. Anxiety had kicked back in.
I needed some help; thankfully I am a member of a really supportive business networking group. I posted on the group, and wow, what support and help I received. But the big one to come out of it? I realised I had fallen, by accident into doing what I did 20 years ago. Teaching in the spiritual arena, and using old material for want of a better word. This dawned on my whilst with a group of the above said ladies, opposite where I used to own a New Age Shop. I was rehashing old stuff. I needed to move forward, away from it.
Because now, today I am in that energetic place of 18 – 20yrs ago, the energy of that time is a memory, and holding me in that space of feeling blocked, unable to move forward. I hit an energetic wall in that period, hit burn out too, and was heading there again, but this time much quicker. Why? Because the work I was doing, energetically is the same.
I need to change it, so today I did. I have cancelled and events, which aren’t doing it for me, and looking for options, and work which does.
The other thing I have realised is I love people and networking. Not big business, that’s not me, but networking and sign-posting people to others in our field who are brilliant at what they do.
And that feels so much happier in my soul. To acknowledge who and what I am, what my place is within the Universe. I’m a support person, always have been, which I why I hit burn out, but more quickly now. I’m also a good few years older too, so I need to be mindful of that.
Quite how I make living from this is another question, but when it feels right, and one follows that winding path, the way will be illuminated to us.
Walk you path your way. I have discovered this at 52, quite where it leads is anyone’s guess, but I’m treading it now, and so can you.
With love always Caroline